If you think that the perfect solution, after a breakup, is just to apologize to the girl who got away, please think again. You will have a hard time understanding why it did not work and why it just makes her angrier than what she initially was. Apologizing is almost always the wrong answer. Here are just a few of the reasons why.
Apologizing could be seen as a Sign of Weakness
It is a sign of being on the weak end of the argument. That you give up and just want to avoid further conflict. You never want to be at the weaker position of the argument.
Apologies Come Across as Insincere
The chances are very good that you have apologized many times in the past. Perhaps, you have even apologized for the very same things she says are causing problems in your relationship. Actions speak louder than words.
Apologies aren’t Specific Enough
Apologizing for “whatever you did to make your ex leave” isn’t going to work. After all the final reason for her leaving was the cherry on top of the cake, as they say, in other words she has had enough.
She needs to hear the specific reason why you’re apologizing. She wants you to acknowledge that you have hurt, neglected, ignored, cheated, or whatever it is that you have done.
She wants to know that you understand it’s wrong. Problem is, she doesn’t always tell you what you did. Which leads to the next reason it’s a bad idea to apologize when your girlfriend leaves.
It’s Too Easy to Apologize for the Wrong Thing
How many times have you heard stories? Where a guy apologizes for something he thinks his girl has found out about, and in actual fact it is the first time she is hearing about it. This is the last thing you want to do is add fuel to the fire, while failing to apologize to the thing that’s really set her off. Talk about digging yourself into a deeper hole!
There are many more ways to get it wrong than there are to get it right. If you feel you must apologize, it’s best to do it in writing and follow these simple rules.
1) Be specific.
2) Make your apology brief.
3) Keep it simple.
Putting it in writing may prevent a fight, gives her time to think it over and process the apology in a neutral setting.
Instead of an apologizing, maybe look for positive aspects of the relationship and attempt to capitalize on how good you were together rather than revisiting mistakes that were made along the way.